Wayfaring Writer

Driven by a violent desire to write.

We Do Relationships Wrong

How We Do Relationships Wrong

This past weekend I went with a friend to watch the new Cinderella movie. I expected a fresh retelling of an old fairy tale, but I got a lot more than I bargained for.

I’ve always been a little bitter and prejudiced against fairy tale movies because I thought they painted unrealistic portraits of relationships. But watching Cinderella I realized that it just shows simplified versions of things we should do with the people we say we care about.

Here are the three ways that Cinderella showed me how we do relationships wrong.

Hiding_my_face_by_Bacafreak

 Hiding Who We Really Are

When Cinderella and Kit (the Prince) meet for the first time Kit says that he is merely an apprentice because he thinks she is a country girl. At the ball when Kit see the beautiful dress that Cinderella is wearing he assumes that she is a princess, and she doesn’t correct him. In the end it doesn’t matter to her that he is the prince, and it doesn’t matter to him that she is a simple country girl. All that matters to them is the connection they have and the love they share.

How often do we go out on dates with people and put up a false version of ourselves?

Instead of pretending to be something we’re not, and altering the way we behave to make ourselves more desirable, we should really just be the people we are. Eventually our false selves will be revealed and the person will see who we really are, wouldn’t you rather the person fall in love with the real you as opposed to the person you pretended to be?

woman-running-away-from-man-541

Pursuing Each Other

After meeting Cinderella in the woods Kit just can’t get her off his mind. But how can he find this mysterious girl whose name he doesn’t even know? He just goes ahead and invites all the women in the land, both the country folk and the gentry. In his eyes the entire point of the ball was to see her again. He pursues her, shows he wants to get to know her, and follows through in splendid fashion.

But Kit isn’t the only one pursuing someone. When Cinderella hears that the prince is throwing a ball for everyone in the land, but she still doesn’t know that Kit is the prince. What she does know is that the apprentice she met in the woods lives in the castle, and she wants to see him again. Even though her stepmother didn’t buy her a dress to go she repaired her mother’s old dress and was ready to go find her friend. Although Kit didn’t see this interaction, Cinderella showed a desire to pursue him.

No “playing hard to get”.

No pushing forward pulling away head games.

No bull crap.

We need to stop playing games with one another hearts and just be honest about what we’re feeling. If the other person doesn’t feel the same then we need to have enough self confidence and self assurance not to take it personally. So quit fooling around and playing stupid dating games with one another and pursue with honesty and heart.

o-HAPPY-MARRIAGE-facebook-550x367

Delight in One Another

When Kit sees Cinderella in her dress at the ball his smile is large, bright, and genuine. More importantly, he gives her the same smile when he sees her in rags and covered in ashes as she comes down from the tower at the end of the story.

They delight in each other dancing at the ball.

They delight in each other on horseback in the woods.

The delight in each swinging in the secret garden.

It doesn’t matter what setting we find them in, what they’re doing, or what they’re wearing they wholeheartedly enjoy each other. What happens to us after the “honeymoon” phase of a relationship that causes this to go away?

We tend to spend a lot of time in the beginning of the relationship doing exciting things and going new places together. Then we settle into a pattern of sameness and normality and wonder why things have gone stale.

Stop it!

Delight in the everyday. I don’t care what you’re doing, you can still find joy in it with the one you love. I’m not saying there won’t be hard times and arguments. There will be. What I’m talking about it joining with our partner in adventure every single day. No matter what that looks like.

Not everything in our lives is going to look like a fairy tale. More often than not it won’t look like one at all. But we can either sit back and wait for life to give us a fairy tale, or we can go out and make one for ourselves.

How are you going to start pursuing your fairy tale? Leave a comment below and shout it out. Let the world know your tired of playing games.

About Luke Geldmacher

I grew living on an island in the middle of the Chesapeake Bay in Maryland. Currently, I live in a 40 acre farm in Cookville, TX. I sometime write about life issues, but my passion is sci-fi and fantasy storytelling.

2 Replies

  1. Zach

    Sage advice.

  2. Linda

    Great article, Luke. Everyone should take this advice. Delight in the ordinary. All minutes with a loved one are good!

Leave a Reply