Wayfaring Writer

Driven by a violent desire to write.

Don’t Be Your Own Worst Enemy

When I came back home after spending six months in China and India life was a bit chaotic. Reintegrating back into American life and the holidays took up a lot of time. During all of it I felt very stressed and generally burnt out. In my spare time I chose not to do anything but watch television and read books. I felt justified for a little down time after so much stuff happening so quickly.

Don't Be Your Own Worst Enemy

Soon enough, my rest became slacking off and soon after turned to laziness and hardcore procrastination. Why do today what I can put off until tomorrow? I have plenty of time to write, I don’t need to do it right now. Laundry can wait another day. I stopped running because it was too cold outside, ate like crap, and got sucked farther and farther into a whirlpool of apathy and responded with a resounding “Meh.”

Don't Be Your Own Worst Enemy

After a few days of this I started to get depressed, which only made me more apathetic and lazy. Messes started piling up around, both literal and figurative. It was a self perpetuating cycle that was totally and completely my own fault. But I didn’t want to see it that way, I wanted to blame it on anything but myself. I started feeling sorry for myself and silently demanding a solution to my issues that required nothing from me. I saw everything and everyone else as being the source of my problems. Reality check, I was screwing myself over in a big way.

Don't Be Your Own Worst Enemy

I’ve talked to many people that run into this problem, and it sucks. Friends and family try to help, but if you’re not interested in acknowledging your contribution to the problem then nothing will ever be resolved. Sometimes you get handed a lot a problems that aren’t your fault and are out of your control. That sucks, but the one thing you can control is how you react to it. Feeling sorry for yourself does nothing to better your situation. Waiting for a solution to come along does nothing. There’s no genie in a bottle or magic bullet to fix our problems.

If you desire change in your life then you have to go out and do it yourself. People can help you out, but you shouldn’t expect anyone to come in and fix everything for you. Ultimately, we are the source and solution to many of the problems in our lives. Whether it’s paying for past mistakes or building a new future we have to take responsibility for our own lives and go out there and do the thing. You don’t have to change everything in one day. A snowflake is really small, but when you get a ton of them together you get an avalanche. Let’s go out today and do something to make our lives a little better than they were yesterday. Feeling out of shape? Start down the road to a healthier life by going for a 10 minute walk. Not happy in your current job? Make a resume and start looking around for something else. Home a little messy? Do the dishes or throw away some of the clutter.

I haven’t written anything since I got home. So I’m starting by writing this. I hope that if you’re reading you get something out of it, but to be honest it’s mostly a message to myself. I’m kicking myself in the butt so I’ll get moving, what are you going to do today that’s different than yesterday?

About Luke Geldmacher

I grew living on an island in the middle of the Chesapeake Bay in Maryland. Currently, I live in a 40 acre farm in Cookville, TX. I sometime write about life issues, but my passion is sci-fi and fantasy storytelling.

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