Wayfaring Writer

Driven by a violent desire to write.

10 Things You Should Know About INTJs

On the Myers-Briggs personality test I am an INTJ. If you don’t know what the Myers-Briggs is you should click this link and take the test.

When I tell people I’m an INTJ I can see a lot of judgments and assumptions about who I am. So I’d like to settle a few things and tell you 10 things you should know about INTJs.

(Disclaimer-No two people are exactly alike. These are ten things about myself and other INTJs I know, which may not apply to all INTJs. This blog is meant to be informative, not blanket statement.)

1. It Doesn’t Mean I Don’t Like People

10 Things You Should Know About INTJs

Oh, you’re an INTJ? Then you don’t like people very much, huh?”

Not the person I’m currently talking too.”

This seems to be pretty common. It doesn’t mean I don’t like people. You can talk to people that know me; I’m rather friendly. But being around people a lot does tire me out. When I’m by myself I get a chance to re-charge my mental and emotional batteries and relax. I have fun when I’m around people, but it does start to wear me out after a while.

2. But I Don’t Like Crowds

10 Things You Should Know About INTJs

Although I don’t mind being around people, I really hate being crowded. I’m probably going to avoid situations where I’m going to be surrounded by a lot of people. There’s too much going on, and it’s total sensory overload. I’ll still go to concerts, events, and other large gatherings; I’d just prefer not to. Even gatherings of a dozen people stress me out. If your INTJ friends are going to crowded places with you they care about you a lot.

3. It Doesn’t Mean I Don’t Like to Be Touched

10 Things You Should Know About INTJs

That’s actually quite the opposite, I’m very affectionate with my friends. I’m known for my hugs and quite proud of it. It could also be high fives, handshakes, pats on the back, or simply laying a hand on the shoulder. I touch the people I care about and to whom I feel close to show them I care.

4. But Please Don’t Touch Me If I Don’t Know You

10 Things You Should Know About INTJs

However, I really don’t like overly familiar gestures with people I don’t know or just met. Some people I meet for the first time give me hugs, and I’m very uncomfortable. I don’t know you very well, so please don’t be so touchy towards me. It doesn’t make me like you more, or garner goodwill in any way. All it does is irritate me.

It also comes back to the whole ‘not liking crowds’ thing. Being surrounded by people with lots of unintentional touching, it’s just no good. If your INTJ friends are touching you they care about you.

5. It Doesn’t Mean We’re Geniuses

10 Things You Should Know About INTJs

You see it all the time in movies and TV: introvert type people are scientists, doctors, or master criminals. I don’t know how many times people have asked me questions that are way beyond anything I would possibly know, and then get frustrated when I don’t have the answer. Sorry, I don’t know everything.

6. But We Do Think A Lot

10 Things You Should Know About INTJs

What introverts do is think, learn, and observe. When we’re spending time by ourselves we have to do something. A lot of introverts like to learn new things, so they read a lot. This is why introverts tend to know a lot of different things, but certainly not everything. Whenever I’m not actively engaging in something (and sometimes when I am) I’m thinking about something. It could be as simple as my schedule for the day or as complex as the current socio-economic problems of the United States. It depends on what I feel like thinking about. If your INTJ friend is listening intently to what you’re saying then they care about you.

7. It Doesn’t Mean We’re Arrogant

10 Things You Should Know About INTJs

There seems to be this perception that INTJ’s are arrogant, unapproachable, and not paying attention to the petty concerns of the people around them. That’s not altogether true. I don’t think I’m better than anyone else because I think and read a lot. I don’t look down on people when they don’t have order and schedules. I like the differences that everyone has and respect them.

8. But We Do Get Frustrated

10 Things You Should Know About INTJs

If you want to live without schedules and plans I’m happy for you. I happen to like them and live my life by them. So when you make plans with me and are habitually late, I get upset. If you come into my home and upset my delicate balance, I get upset. I understand there are differences among all of us, and I really try to accommodate people’s different personalities. All I ask is for you to do the same. If your INTJ friends are patient and understanding when you do this with them, they care about you.

9. It Doesn’t Mean We Don’t Love Well

10 Things You Should Know About INTJs

INTJs come off cold and mean in entertainment. That’s not the case. I do love people, just not very many. I can’t emotionally and mentally invest in that many people at the same time. It’s as simple as that.

10. But We Do Love Intensely

10 Things You Should Know About INTJs

The truth is, I have a lot of people I care about but only a handful of people that I love. If I’m in a relationship with someone it’s even more intense. The people I care for the most I want to know on a very deep level. I will bend over backwards to help them. That’s part of the reason I don’t have very many close friends; I just can’t invest that much into a lot of people. If you have an INTJ friend that spends a lot of time with you, asks about your life regularly, and takes time for you, then you are very special to them.

Support the INTJs in your life. They only make up about 5%-8% of the population, so there’s really not many of us. Love us well, give us space when we need it, try to understand us, and you’ll certainly be rewarded with a loyal and dedicated friend.

About Luke Geldmacher

I grew living on an island in the middle of the Chesapeake Bay in Maryland. Currently, I live in a 40 acre farm in Cookville, TX. I sometime write about life issues, but my passion is sci-fi and fantasy storytelling.

3 Replies

  1. Linda Whiting

    Great article, Luke. Spot on about your personality type. Obviously, I am not an INTJ. I’m pretty much the opposite type personality, but you already know that.

    So happy you’re writing all the time. Keep it up, because you’re getting better all the time.

    Love you lots and looking forward to your return.
    Momma

  2. Missy

    Thanks for sharing the article. I can completely relate to about everything you said.

    1. Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading!

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